Canadian teen who came out as trans has parents’ full support, but worries his community is under attack | CBC News

When Fabien Hawkins was exploring his gender identity, his parents weren’t the first to know. 

A few years ago, Fabien asked a group of online friends to start using different pronouns for him. 

“So I told them, ‘I think I might be trans. Can you help me by using different pronouns on me and I’ll see what I’m comfortable with? This is obviously just a test until I can really figure out who I am,'” said the now 18-year-old. 

“I wanted to make sure I knew who I was before I said something to my parents.” 

Once Fabien felt confident in identifying as a male, he came out to his parents, Erin and Stephen Hawkins.

Erin said they were shocked at first, but they quickly came to accept this was what Fabien wanted and he needed to live his life.

“I felt privileged and lucky that my kid felt completely safe telling me that they are … trans,” Erin said. “I felt better as a parent knowing that I’ve given my kids the confidence in our relationship that they can tell me that and feel safe doing that.”

CBC News sat down with the Hawkins family ahead of Fabien’s surgery next month that will involve removing his breasts and creating a flat chest.

Fabien, who came out just after his 16th birthday, said he realizes he’s navigating his transition in a society that is actively restricting people from exploring and choosing their gender identity.

Fabien said he knows the community continues to be under attack, from some politicians trying to restrict access to gender-affirming care in the U.S. and the banning of books dealing with LGBTQ subjects, to protests in Windsor-Essex over when young people can change their pronouns at school.

Ready to keep fighting

Recent events make Erin and Stephen worry for how Fabien will move through the world, but Fabien said he’s ready to keep fighting alongside the LGBTQ community to protect their rights. 

In 2016, the Greater Essex County District School Board (GECDSB) introduced a policy around gender identity and expression for students. It allows students of any age to change their gender pronouns and their names at school without their parents’ or guardians’ knowledge. 

Two years ago, the board reviewed it and passed it without any changes. 

Similar policies exist at many other school boards across Ontario. Fabien recently graduated from the local French public school board, Conseil Scolaire Viamonde.

CBC News asked the French board to define its policies around gender expression and identity, but hasn’t heard back. But Fabien said his school readily changed his birth name to his chosen one on his online profile and class lists. 

WATCH  |The Hawkins talk about the gender expression policy

The Hawkins share their thoughts on the gender policy at school boards

Fabien Hawkins, Erin Hawkins and Stephen Hawkins break down what the gender policies implemented by local school boards mean to them. They say the student should be the priority.

Parents protest public board’s gender policy 

Earlier this week, at the GECDSB’s first closed meeting, at least 100 people gathered outside. Some supported the board’s gender policy. Some were opposed.

Those opposed to the policy include Parents for Parents’ Rights. 

The group’s organizer, Elton Robinson, said he would like parental consent to be required for students younger than 18 who want to change their identities. He told CBC News it’s about involving parents in the conversation. 

Robinson pointed to a recent policy change in New Brunswick that mandates parental consent is required before a teacher can use a child’s chosen name and pronouns in class if the student is younger than 16. 

Meanwhile, other parents said they don’t want ideas of gender fluidity or sexuality talked about with their children at all. 

Also at the school board protest was a large group of LGBTQ community members and allies. They said the policy protects youth who are questioning their identities and not ready to tell their parents. 

Few laws, policies exist around gender identity 

The Canadian Civil Liberties Association (CCLA) said it has been watching what’s happening in places like New Brunswick with “concern.” 

“Changes to policies meant to protect trans and non-binary students are being eroded and has significant harm on these students and their rights,” said Harini Sivalingam, the director of equality programs at the CCLA. 

Sivalingam said it takes away their right to privacy, equality and right to get education in a safe, inclusive and welcoming environment. 

“It’s a false dichotomy to pit children’s rights against parent rights, because children do have rights. Parents don’t own their children,” she said. 

“Children should be able to grow and … develop their own identities in a safe and inclusive environment.” 

She said they aren’t saying young people should keep secrets, but that they will approach their family when they are ready. 

But Wayne MacKay, professor emeritus at Dalhousie University’s Schulich School of Law, said he believes the policy change in New Brunswick is legally sound. 

He said the province can deal with matters related to education and the policy is consistent with the Human Rights Act, human rights protections and charter protections. 

But, he said, there is some debate around whether or not “taking away rights of parental consent” is consistent with the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. 

While there’s an age set in the statute for most things, such as getting a driver’s licence at 16 and voting at 18, MacKay said there isn’t one in place for choosing your gender identity and pronouns. 

“The common law guide is what is the age of a mature minor, and that varies depending on the facts of each case, so the law is only partly helpful here unless the statute sets it out and it doesn’t in this case is because this is pretty new territory.” 

MacKay added a key rule in matters relating to children is that courts or decision-makers “do what’s in the best interest of the child.” 

“The problem is, people disagree as to what that is,” he said. 

WATCH | Fabien shares his fears, hopes with being transgender 

Fabien says he hopes people see him the way he wants

He says he used to worry about this process and what it might look like, but now feels comfortable in who he is.

Some parents say the best interest is for them to guide and provide their input on these decisions, MacKay said, whereas the school authorities believe in the policies created around this. 

And this debate, he says, will be ongoing especially as this is “new terrain.” There is very little case law and policies around this issue, MacKay says. 

As for the Hawkins, they believe the issue should always prioritize the young person who is questioning their identity. 

While Fabien didn’t always feel the most supported at school, he says he’s “lucky” to have that from his family. 

“I know for some people just not being able to come out, not being able to be supported in who they actually are is really painful, it hurts them, not only just mentally but like physically. It’s like ‘why don’t you accept me for who I am?'”